Hollywood's Offspring

I was just thumbing through the internet, as if it were a book, however i caught a headline that showcased Jessica Alba and her new offspring. Usually i don't dabble in the chaotic celebrity realm but this made me pensive and i thought of all the other celebs like Halle Berry (most recently) who show off their offspring. I am aware that magazines capitalize on the public's insatiable and voracious celebrity desire but what does an offspring (you like how i keep using that word) have to do with anything. Most haven't even developed distinct features yet.

To my understanding it has reached the threshold where now celebs are willing to submit photos to keep the malicious camera totters away. But how did we get here, was it always like this? People have been creating offspring for years and it just doesn't seem like the fiasco was apparent years ago, perhaps with technology expands availability. My conjecture is that 'loids have intentionally and covertly created a new desire among society. In the world of Hollywood redundancy the 'loids have created a new demand (if my memory serves me correctly about the past)! They make up "games" that people can play along with. For instance when they started naming couples e.g. Brangelina, everyone can try to make the best name. Now the game i suppose is who has the best looking offspring (lol). But with each game they create it allows everyone to play along. TMZ and OK magazine are XBOX for celebrity culture. Think about that and get back with me.

Oh, and thank you for bearing with my selfish desire to use the word, offspring. P.S. I bet you don't know whose baby i used for this picture. Shame on you if you do, then this post was just for you!

Reality Blows...

Reality TV has spirtaled into a frenzy and needs to be corraled. I believe this show called Celebracadabra is coming on VH1, now lets use our connotative skills and figure out what that word translates into- you guessed it, celebrities doing magic.

The show is supposed to partner celebs with magicians to perform some fashion of magic tricks and such. To be honest i didn't even read the whole description but it sounds hocus bogus to me from what i read. The part of this script that they are dragging on the ground and through the mud is the reality that they are using what i would call C-list celebrities. Matter of fact i don't even know if C-list celebs exist cause that would put them on the same level as your favorite salesperson at your local Target (no disrespect to those who work at Target, they're not really on your level). Some of the people are Jonathan Levit, Jeff McBride, and Lisa Ann Walter.

What is this fascination the nation has with celebrities, ancient and current? I don't want to see you dance, cook, live in a house together, do magic, race a car, or run a boardroom- unless that is what you do! The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" reruns still come on Nick at Nite. Even though i really don't even watch them, it just gives me hope.

Maybe Im Crazy, but I doubt it!

Usually I do not touch this with a ten foot pole, but this one has been eating away at me for some time. I am not a celebrity watcher or lover or carerer abouter (don't get on my grammer 'cause I made that up) but what is up with the paparazzi.

I stumbled across a show called Pop Fiction, it comes on the E network, correct me if im wrong. All I know is that when I hit the channel there were about eight to ten guys snapping photos of Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez as they ate lunch outside. The photographers were about two feet away at the most! How inhumane is this? The only thing about this is that Eva and Mario were doing this on purpose to poke fun at the rumors of them stepping out together. So pretty much they were playing all those people who read the rumor magazines to the left, and i must say all those readers caught up in the celebrity world, "you deserve it".

Celebrities are treated as if they are not human. There is something seriously wrong with this society. I have asked people to inquire how the paparazzi is able to get away with intruding on everyone's daily strolls to the park and this is the answer that was conveyed to me, it has something to do with the first amendment and the freedom of press. Paparazzi is the only occupation I know that allows you to pester someone legally. Its amazing, of all the restraining orders there are in the world, none on the paparazzi I suppose.

Now what I really think is that it is a money issue (just like everything else). Do these gossip magazines generate that much money because if they do, I am in the wrong line of work. I am pretty certain some celebs have approached this issue, to no avail obviously. But where are the good lawyers when you need one, because if you can win this case you will be legendary, trust me. But the only reason I could imagine that their efforts would be thwarted is because the tabloids are big business (not quite as big as Haliburton, but you get the idea).