Telling Personal Sex Life = Jail Time?

Alright readership stick with me as I put on my journalist shirt and tie in an attempt to convey this story in a concise manner. In Saudi Arabia a man by the name of Abdul Jawad was arrested for bragging about his sex life on television on a Lebanese show entitled "Red Lines". He discussed foreplay and sexual conquest along with how he picks up women. Jawad is a 32 year-old divorced father of four. Discussions are still taking place to determine whether charges will be filed.

The climate in Saudi Arabia does not endorse public disclosure of sexual exploits, as a matter of fact unrelated men and women are not allowed to mingle and pre-marital sex is illegal. In a drastic pendulum swing Jawad has begun what we refer to from a PR standpoint as, damage control. In a local newspaper he issued a sorrowful apology accompanied by a photograph of him absorbing his tears into a handkerchief.

Here are a couple of fun facts to introduce that will escalate our dialogue, CNN reports "Abdul Jawad is not in jail and is considering filing a complaint against the show’s producers for presenting him “in the worst possible manner by taking two hours of footage and condensing it down to a minutes-long segment"". As we delve further into what was shown CNN relays this information, "It includes scenes of Abdul Jawad discussing his enjoyment of sex and how he lost his virginity at age 14. Abdul Jawad is also shown in his bedroom, where he holds up sexual aids to the camera. It ends with him cruising the streets of Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, in his car and looking for women."

Let us start with the first quote concerning his portrayal in a negative manner...isn't that what TV does? They always tape more footage than they need and when cut, material is constructed in order to put forth the most riveting pieces and merge the most tantalizing details. Before he volunteered to participate (assuming he did by the amount of info he divulged) I think it is fair to assume he should know what their purpose is and what they are going to do with his segment. Actually let me take this moment to warn those reading, if you are ever the subject of a story being filmed for television, please know what the treatment for what you are doing or in remedial terms "what they are going to do with it". Now the second quote actually bothers me, with the intentional and deliberate coverage of his escapades it seems that the Lebanon Broadcasting Company would take some liability for this as well. Considering there are laws and against disclosing sexual encounters. The broadcasting company is the vehicle that afforded Jawan the television opportunity, without them none of this happens. It is similar to when people curse on TV in America, it is the network who bleeps it out; they assume the onus. Therefore i actually find this quite hypocritical and repugnant.

Now I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the simple liberties we exercise in America. Im not encouraging that we be grateful we can voice sexual exploits publicly, but the relative freedom of speech and personally liberating lives that we do enjoy. This story was actually quite humorous to me but I hope that as we chuckle we do not become unappreciative.

Black in America

What does it mean to be Black in America? CNN, courtesy of Soledad O'Brien took a stab at it and merely illuminated the the lives of blacks from one end of the spectrum to another, nothing more and nothing less.

To put the discussion in drive i will start by saying this, there are a myriad of "reasons" and depths that were not explored in this documentary but being as pragmatic as possible i realize that the show would have taken hours upon days to outline and detail the many catalyst and causes for the current state that blacks in America are in. For many blacks this served as a gratuitous reminder and reassurance for a lot of facts that we already knew, especially if you've lived these stories. An important thing to remember is that CNN is a potent national network and attracts many audiences; the airing of this documentary gave other races brief insight into what it is like to be black in America without actually living it (every little bit helps). In an effort to ease the tension among racial lines it is paramount that BOTH sides take initiative to understand where the other side stands in order to help better present solutions, reasons, and formulas to make things better. If dialogue is to happen and both sides are not privy to how the other side views the subject then you could be debating and in essence not even be talking about the same idea. So from that perspective it is good to see what kind of ideas other races are exposed to concerning us. Now lets move on.

I didn't see all of the first day so my commentary is limited for the women and families portion. For the women one of the points talked about dating outside of their race, and with so many black men restricted by bars, dead, or leading an unproductive life its a wonder that there aren't more black women dating outside their race, especially those women who have achieved a substantial amount of success. One of the things that hinders relationships is the lack of roles, traditionally women have played a more of a supplemental role for the man and been the foundation of the family. When everyone follows the formula everything is simple, but now with women breaking a lot of barriers and excelling more than ever black men have been slow and/or tardy matching their excellence and this has caused a void that it is often left vacant. What is a women to do if as she progresses professionally there become fewer and fewer black male counterparts in her circle, she is sure to relate to those that are on her level and those that are in her circle which can easily become exclusively another race. The scenario does not always happen like this but it is an example. Black men need to excel not only for the women sake but for the sake of the race. Just so we are clear i don't think that dating outside the race is problematic but at least give the ladies some more options to choose from.

For those who feel dating outside the race is detrimental you have to consider a few things, if you harbor the same ideas some of our ancestors held then we will continue to be stuck in their same situations. What im saying is that older black generations as a whole probably feel stronger about interracial dating than younger generations do, but they have a right to because of the reality that they lived. But if European Americans hold on to their same p.o.v. then you have a lot of potential fights coming, so if we are all going to live together than we have to be willing to move pass the past and try to reconcile, and not just live in two different realities but want everyone to be treated the same, that contradiction won't work.

This paragraph should tie into male and female and cover a lot of ground, hopefully. Let's put this out there, some people are forced into situations by the way society works and they don't have any options, that needs to be acknowledged. They sell cocaine, crack, weed or whatever to support the family members they do have and they're forced to carry guns to protect the dope and it becomes a vicious cycle. Some folks do have options they just choose to ignore them because the illegal route seemed like a better solution to their problems. With the laws set up against black (as CNN reported harsher penalties for crack rather than cocaine while cocaine is a purer form of the drug) a lot of people dabble in that game to long. Its nothing to sell a few bricks, keys, ounces whatever to get yourself in a better position to make other moves and put yourself back on the playing field but we don't do that, we milk the drug game for everything we can until we get caught. Now at this point we are no longer doing it out of necessity, it is out of greed which will eventually do anyone in. In the "hood" you can have countless transactions take place and the police won't be on to anything because its nothing major happening and lets face it, the majority of the "hood" ain't saying nothing! So everything is copacetic. The other problem that compounds this societal injury is that we don't have the education or societal acumen to know how to do anything else because we have dropped out of school and if we were going we weren't learning anyway, which brings me to another point that a lot of inner city schools are already behind the eight ball as far as resources and class sizes. Where most suburban schools have adequate funding which will allow children to do things such as take the books home and give them additional learning time, as opposed to being in school and whatever you don't learn in class you have to chalk it up as a loss because you don't have the luxury of taking the book with you. Not to mention on a standardized test particularly in the english section a lot of the jargon can be ethically biased. I could get into affirmative action here but i digress, so now you are stuck and where do you end up? Like Kanye said "its only two places you end up either dead or in jail". Then this puts the pressure on the women once again, so while we thought we were "man-ing up" we are really running away and putting the burden back on the women. With all due respect it can be extremely hard for a women or any one person to raise a family. You don't have the time and usually scarce resources, so who ends up raising the children? You know the answer. And with so few leaders there is nobody for the youth to turn to. Children literally can not be accountable for themselves unless they are taught to be accountable. They are at the complete mercy of the parenting before them. And with so few people willing to step in and help the saga continues, remember it takes a village to raise a child.

A lot of the problems that people have been screaming about concerning hip hop is all redundant and almost irrelevant. It is true that a lot of those messages guide the youth and heck even some grown folk. But the most effective way to alleviate the problems in hip hop is to build stronger family units and values. As horrific as this may be some of hip hop is just reporting and observation, if we create better realities then hopefully we create better messages. Unless we continue to let record execs feed us foolishness and we okay that agenda. As hip hop started out it was a creative expression of a deprived voice. How can those that are not connected with hip hop at a fundamental level dictate to those that are what is good hip hop and what is not. With stronger values one is able to determine the difference between real and fake, what is right and what is wrong. And another problem is that nobody is ever willing to speak about anything they feel is wrong because most blacks have a "cant knock the hustle" mentality, and i think a lot of that stems from the truth that most blacks have done some dirt and who is to say my "hustle" is more legit than yours. But there is nothing wrong with imparting knowledge upon others if you have learned otherwise throughout your travels, once again a lack of accountability.

The point is we have to do better and stop accepting the status quo as good enough. There are so many more topics and directions this could go but i have to end it somewhere. I just ask that you hold us down and try to do better everyday and as long as we do that then we will be ok. Although black in America was only a snippet for those of us that know, we get it, and this is just a reminder to us that we need to get on our game and take this thing further than we have before. Hopefully this wasn't excessive chatter but i just had to come back with a bang.