A Woman's Work

I'm having a problem, but the good thing is I am looking for help. As a result of my personal fashion pride i found myself in a conversation that suggested the lion's share of the adult male population cannot dress well, however that is not how the conversation started. It was recently explained to me that most women dress their men [when in a relationship] - if I was the one being dressed it would probably make me self-conscious - and women generally think nothing of it because it's a role they've accepted as commonplace. Hours later I found another lady friend and she suggested the opposite, so I'm curious to know where the rest of the world lies on this teeter-totter. Now when i say "dress", it doesn't mean that they literally put the clothes on the man's body [although that would count too] but it suggests that the woman buys/picks out the majority of their wardrobe and options. A couple of bullet points as we move forward; 1. I don't know if i believe most women dress their men, 2. If so, do women consider it a task [something that takes deliberate effort], and 3. Why would a woman pick a man that she has to dress?

 Let's explore the theory that most women do indeed dress their man; there are people called "stylists" who are often paid a handsome ransom for that profession, therefore i consider that a job. Now I can bake chicken but that doesn't make me Gordon Ramsay. I don't see how it got to the point where this wouldn't be considered a job, it's laborious finding the size, the fit, and the bargain. Is this something that women have become largely immune to?

 Although fashion is subjective let's simplify it and say that everyone's style falls into one of three categories: good, better, and best [no negative words like "bad" will be used]. Are we then implying that in any of the three categories the woman usually dresses better than the man, i.e. a better dressing woman will always dress better than a better dressing man; or are we saying that a man is rarely above the "good" category? Although my world is smaller than the average rapper's humility gene i would like to think most of my male friends or associates have at least a sense of direction when it comes to coordinating their clothing.

 Lastly, why would a woman pick a man that she has to dress [I promise this part isn't a shallow inquiry]? Why not pick a gentleman whose style you fancy, seems like it would save you a few hours of browsing [more time for manicures]? And science tells us that the male species is a primarily visual gender, not the female so why then does it seem the women are more concerned with visual appearance than the guy? As you can see I've found quite a bit of consternation in this subject, however it really just boils down to understanding more about the world around the 'Sofa.

Somethin About Her

You are really going to have to follow me on this one. I was sitting and thinking about women-as it relates to looks. I have realized that there is no such thing as a "good looking woman", from a mans perspective. What IS available though are women that we perceive will raise our status.

Here's my premise, have you ever heard a guy say "i don't know what it is about her but i like her" about someone who isn't mainstream cute or attractive. Basically its an effort to point out the notion that she isn't what i should like, but indeed I do like her, thus im afraid to blatantly say it. Im concerned with how did we get this way. In a subtle way i think we have learned to be afraid to like what we truly like and that goes for more than just women. A pertinent example would be: If I were to like listen to toads and frogs croak. That would make me weird right.

Now there are some features that us males are attracted to regardless but its usually in sexual nature, but as complete beings there is more to be fulfilled than just sexual desires. But for some reason we consistently neglect the other aspects that need to be tended to as well. Also there are some women that we genuinely enjoy all around but we refrain from making a commitment to them in a monogamous relationship (women do this too). But if we thoroughly enjoy a compatible friend, then what reasons do we have to keep a measure of distance? The inverse of that argument is that we find what are deemed to be "good looking" women and dive into relationships without any regard for how deep the water is. We may barely know the person's last name but she looks good and that settles the bill, we may have very little in common but it doesn't seem to matter. Ive concluded that we do it because we feel like we are gaining something or elevating our perception. Its actually quite weird that this is how we operate.

I don't really have a solution for the proposed perplexing scenario but i would encourage people to engage in relationships that are truly happy and healthy for them. Also this is something interesting to think about as you sit on the 'Sofa.

Natural Woman vs. The Superficial Woman

Its a new day, and in this new day i got into my first twitter discussion. The dialogue started when a friend of mine says "I wonder why men fantasize over superficial women and claim to only like natural ones". Well I, along with my co-defendant, tried to clear the confusion in 140 characters or less; I thought it was working until this publicity lady chimes in with "It's no biggie, im not bashing but just like a woman, men don't know what they want either." and i end the quote. At that moment the micro-blogging grew into real blogging, and so I'm here to flat-line this topic.

I attempted to appease the contenders by asserting that, as a man you can be visually attracted to "superficial" traits/features (because that is primarily how men are stimulated) as the world preys on that fact daily; so you enjoy the visual but you don't have a legitimate desire to "be with" the superficial person. In order to understand that concept first you must understand that we all have a lustful and sinful nature (I won't get too biblical). These superficial traits are going to tantalize, but as a man who knows what he wants, he understands that those traits don't hold any water, they are simply "visual stimulations". Let me note that those are not the only things/traits that visually stimulate men but it is indeed a portion.

My co-defendant chimed in with the brilliant metaphor of rims on cars. Yes a lot of rims do look good on cars but they are quite unnecessary, and although it can look nice, you dang sure don't want them on your car. Matter of fact take the whole car for an example, think of all the car shows that display these highly complex remixes with all kinds of tv screens or trivial accessories like a swimming pool in the flatbed. I might even be enticed to ride in it one time and get an experience but i know cotton picking well i don't want to own the keys and lug that hunk of exaggeration around. So you see, yeah its looks exotic and such but...I reiterate, "unnecessary".

So the assertion that men do not know what they want is an ill-informed one. I think it verifies that you know exactly what you want, as you navigate past temptation and fruitless eye candy. If you didn't know indeed what you were seeking you would be quite sidetracked by these things. You know what qualities are important in the woman you desire, you maintain the stance that a naturally shaped or featured woman can fulfill your needs more than satisfactorily and you also understand there are other things that play a role in the woman you want, i.e. mental cohesion or similar ideologies. So I look at this thing from the other end zone (sports reference, its a guy thing), i contend that it shows a man is quite certain of what he needs in his life.