Somethin About Her

You are really going to have to follow me on this one. I was sitting and thinking about women-as it relates to looks. I have realized that there is no such thing as a "good looking woman", from a mans perspective. What IS available though are women that we perceive will raise our status.

Here's my premise, have you ever heard a guy say "i don't know what it is about her but i like her" about someone who isn't mainstream cute or attractive. Basically its an effort to point out the notion that she isn't what i should like, but indeed I do like her, thus im afraid to blatantly say it. Im concerned with how did we get this way. In a subtle way i think we have learned to be afraid to like what we truly like and that goes for more than just women. A pertinent example would be: If I were to like listen to toads and frogs croak. That would make me weird right.

Now there are some features that us males are attracted to regardless but its usually in sexual nature, but as complete beings there is more to be fulfilled than just sexual desires. But for some reason we consistently neglect the other aspects that need to be tended to as well. Also there are some women that we genuinely enjoy all around but we refrain from making a commitment to them in a monogamous relationship (women do this too). But if we thoroughly enjoy a compatible friend, then what reasons do we have to keep a measure of distance? The inverse of that argument is that we find what are deemed to be "good looking" women and dive into relationships without any regard for how deep the water is. We may barely know the person's last name but she looks good and that settles the bill, we may have very little in common but it doesn't seem to matter. Ive concluded that we do it because we feel like we are gaining something or elevating our perception. Its actually quite weird that this is how we operate.

I don't really have a solution for the proposed perplexing scenario but i would encourage people to engage in relationships that are truly happy and healthy for them. Also this is something interesting to think about as you sit on the 'Sofa.

Must be the Money

As you guys know i do brief reading in my limited spare time. This time i was nudged to get some perspectives on the subject of money and friendships. The article i read professed that huge differences in income put a strain on both participants. It stated the wealthier person feels a level of guilt for the things they have, considering that the friend has quite a bit less. They feel awkward about inviting them to gatherings in fear that the other friend may be uncomfortable. The other friend feels bad about the paucity of his/her bank account. They feel as though they have to keep up, often acquiescing to spend more money than they should or living at times above their means.

To be frank (who else would i want to be), most people live above their means. I've always imagined that good friends would be just that regardless of circumstance. It sounds like a problem of (as the kids say) not keeping it 100. If you are honest with yourself then you can be honest with others, and people respect and adore honesty. Perhaps people get caught up in the details of life and forget the simple things. The fact that these two friends enjoy each others company and have a blast together is not something that should be overlooked. There is often too much emphasis and attention directed on putting people into a box or category, its almost as if we forget to label people as simply, well, people. I don't want to get too MLKish but people should be judged on the content of their character. Friendships have no rules, as one cares for the other and the sentiment is reciprocated, they shall be friends...qualifications met. From my experiences i don't know that i agree with what i read 100%.

What does the 'sofa readership think? How heavily do you feel that money weighs on friendships? Since we're talking money, let me get your two cents.